And so can I.
-Tour feels like forever ago in my brain. Partly the alcohol making that melon in my skull forget things, in part because I guess I've been here for almost a month now. (Really?) Another flying thing: time. Time makes me thirsty. The only water in my mouth since leaving Chicago has been caused by the awesome thoughts (and dreams) of middle american fast food. I would do serious head pounding long division for some ranch dressing (which apparently hasn't been invented over her yet) on a snack wrap from McDonalds. They have tomato chutney and no ranch dressing? Flip-flopped priorities. That's what I have to say. Everything here is backwards. Not in the cool Criss Cross fly in the back sort of way. More in the "it's annoying to have to re-learn how to cross the street way. "You might be thinking wait, they did stuff first, isn't America the backwards culprit? First of all, America is never backwards because we're forward thinking and backwards is not part of the American dream. They did it first, but we did it right. One thing I've learned in world travels: America will never not be number one. Why? A: We're straight forward, honest, convenient, and efficient. Add these traits up and you get money. Lots of money for everybody. (Insert>evil laugh sound effect)
On a more (i'm not so) sober note- London is awesome. It's weird to be in a place with so much history and dates on things older than George Washington. It makes you feel way less important when you think of how many people have lived here over the hundreds of years it has been around. I feel like America, though big and strong, it's still going through it's 7th grade "gel and frosted tips" young and impressionable stage.
-Two weeks ago I went on a field trip to Stonehenge. After seeing it in real life I think I've solved the mystery once and for all. You're welcome. I definitely concur with Tom Cruise and other famous crazies. Stonehenge is definitely an ancient alien landing pad. I'm serious. Think about it. Now think about it using logic. 5000 years ago humans couldn't spell there own names. Kindergardeners cannot spell their own names. Can a kindergardener lift up a 20 ton bolder, balance it atop two other rocks forming a circle that could hold up a spacecraft landing from a galaxy far far away? No way Jose. Therefor: Indisputable evidence exist that this construction must be of the extraterrestrial sort. Ha.
Also I bought a book at a thrift store today entitled "How to be Cool: Make social blunders a thing of the past!" By: Will Smith. Double ha.
Okay Okay new video below. Parents: Tell the kids it's time for bed. This is at least TV14.